Why

So this is the first time I've ever done a blog and to be honest I'm not even sure why I'm doing it because the likelyhood of someone reading it is nil. However, if it gives me the chance to vent about things then I am all for it.

I decided to start this today beccause I needed a serious way to vent. My education background is in social work and with all of the human behavior and sociology classes and other crap I have had to take you would think that that I would understand the way people choose to act a little better than I do.

In the past month I have been seriously screwed over (in my opinion) by people who are supposed to be my friends and it's pretty much been in the same way both times. I guess I should start from the beginning. Awhile back I started dating a guy, and things were on and off again until about a month ago when he apparently decided to make it permanently "off." His reasoning for it never becoming more than it was has always been "I don't want a serious relationship", and I was okay with that. During our time together we both continued to see other people occasionally, enter into the picture, guy number 2, who also decided doesn't want a serious relationship. The more serious things got with guy 1, the more guy 2 and I became just friends which we were both okay with. Well one of my good friends, knew about all of this. At one point, she also became friends with guy 2 and I guess at some point developed a crush on him. I kind of knew this but blew it off because I trusted her and figured it wouldn't be a big deal. Oh how wrong I was. Well when things with guy 1 and I started going back to the "off" point, guy 2 and I started dating. Things all came to a head when I went over to my friends house. She started out with asking me about the last time I had hung out with guy 2 and all these other questions. Well I started becoming suspicious when she told me that he had come to her house a few weeks before to hang out (neither of them had told me this). So I started asking questions of my own and she ends up telling me that they had messed around but that it didn't mean anything to her because she didn't have feelings for him, she just "liked messing around" and then she told me that he had come over a few days before and they had messed around again. By this point I am extremely upset and she has the nerve to ask me, "You're not mad at me are you? Don't hate me." I mean come on who tells someone that and then honestly expects them not to be mad. Needless to say my friendship with her ended due to that. But I still had to deal with guy 2 and his part in this. So I question him about it and we end up talking and the whole time my friend is trying to call him on his phone and stuff. She tells guy 2 that she never told me that they messed around and then leaves him a voice mail telling him that she wants to tell him all the stuff that I told her. When they talk she tells him that I said "It doesn't matter what you two did, I never really liked him anyway." This was a complete lie and he knew it so we both quit talking to her and continued seeing each other. Which by the way I am very happy with.

So as of today, guy 1 and I have not really been talking for the past month (his version of ending our on again/off again relationship). I should mention we work together and have a similar friendship circle. Well a few months before we ended our "relationship" (i use that term loosely) I noticed him paying a lot more attention to one of our friends. I blew it off because I knew we were still seeing each other and she isn't the type of person to do that to a friend (and for the record she didn't). However, since the guy and i stopped talking, they have been spending more time together and officially began dating about two weeks ago. Now nobody bothered to tell me this like an adult would but it was pretty obvious especially knowing the guy as well as I do. Well tomorrow night our whole group of friends is supposed to hang out and I knew what I was goign to have to handle by going but I deccided to be an adult and suck it up. Today the guy comes to my office and wants to talk. He proceedes to tell me that he and our friend are dating, which I told him I already knew. He also told me he didn't want things to be akward tomorrow night which is why he was telling me. Which means if it wasn't for our get together he wouldn't have. Then he tells me, "I didn't think this is what I wanted (meaning a relationship) but this is the happiest I've been in a long time" Wow, he sure knows how to make a girl feel special.

I guess the point to writing all this has been to vent about the way people act. My point is, is why do people tell you things that they know are going to make you uphappy and then say things like "Don't date me", or "Are you mad?" No i'm freakin peachy let me tell you. I think the thing that hurts the worst is in both of these incidents the girls were supposed to be my friend. The girl in the second situation even critized the girl in the first situation for how she acted. Again, I just don't get people.

Well that is the end of my venting for now. Maybe the next time my blog won't be so long and confusing. To anyone who reads this thank you for letting me express my heart and mind and I welcome any feedback.